Defending Freedom Run

I think my coping mechanism for having Ben deployed is getting myself into some large projects. The latest was a run I put on in honor of Ben. Ben told me in December that he would be running a 1/2 marathon on February 25th. I was kind of a bit envious because I had never run a 1/2 before. So, I decided to put on a run myself on the same day. I kind of have a weird habit of naming everything, so I decided to name it "Defending Freedom walk/run/bike". It was to be the 1st annual and definitely not the last! I ran into my Friend Lee Elmer, who we met at Stake Choir over a year ago. He runs the DI here and I frequent that place. Lee and I are definitely on a first name basis! I asked him if he would help me with different routes for this events. He kind of took off with it and made it really nice. It was so kind of him to do this for me.

Training was going really well for both Ben and I until about 2 weeks before the race. I got a weird bug and was sick with bronchitis for about 1 and 1/2 weeks. The race was getting close at this point and I hadn't even been able to run. I decided to go on a run a few days before and it was a little painful. This made me quite nervous!

On Friday, one day before the race, I woke up and got the idea to run the 1/2 that night. I wanted to enjoy the event and take lots of pictures and visit with everyone, and most of all, I thought it would be cool to actually run at the same time as Ben was running it. I told my good friend, Nan Horlacher my plan and she offered to ride her bike along side of me. So at about 9:30pm Vegas time and 10:00am Afghanistan time, Ben and I started to run. I ran about 8 miles in the dark by myself. I did have a head lamp on and ran in safe areas! It was so peaceful and it was so much fun imagining Ben running too. The only thing better would have been to have him running beside me like we have done so much in the past. I long for those runs again. I felt great and was so happy about my choice to run it that night. Because of some riots going on around Bagram AFB in Afghanistan the week before, Ben wasn't able to run the loop he was planning on running. He and about 10 others ran.

The race here was pretty official. It was maked off with traffic cones, flags were flown, tags were worn and we even had fresh fruit, water and chocolate milk for all of the runners. We had about 150-175 who participated in the 1/2 marathon, 5k, 10k and 25 mile bike ride. I was so pleased with the turnout. The kids LOVED it and ran the 5k easily (well, except for Kate- she rollerbladed it)! From my family, my parents, Tarah and Brooke came, and from Ben's family, Scott and Lori, Derrick, and Emily, Nate and Kim and their family came. Ben's parents and Matt and Misty walked in Beaver that day. It was so great to have family here for support.

Ben had a great experience running as well. He had medal for all who participated there and has ordered T shirts for them as well.

About a month before the race, I just happened upon a lady who was doing so screen printing in her garage. I stopped by and told her what I was thinking as far as the design of the shirts and she was able to make them. I always like a good t-shirt to wear! They turned out great!

All in all, it was a huge sucess! Ben just told me that he is now training for a full marathon in April. I think I will let him do that one himself- Been there, done that!!!

Christmas without Ben

Christmas time was not the same without Ben. We did have a good time and the kids did say that this was the best Christmas ever, except for Ben being gone. December was extremely busy as usual. For some reason I like to make gifts for most people. I told myself that this year it would be much easier to just buy them-but of course, I couldn't. I also helped a few of my friends make gifts for their in-laws. It was a bit crazy! We pulled taffy with the Mickelsons. They liked it so much, we did it twice. I guess I have had so much of it, that it's not really a big deal to me anymore. It is fun however, and it is a tradition that will will definately keep forever!

It was a little difficult getting super excited for Christmas. I tried to, for the kids sake. Holidays are just so much better when Ben is around. He is the life of the party and everyone missed him this year. The kids wanted to spend Christmas in Utah, so I borrowed the Mickelsons trailer and loaded it up with gifts. The kids gifts were large this year, so it was a must to have the extra space.

I decided to do the twelve days of Christmas for Ben this year. I probably sent 6 or 7 packages. Some of the gifts that I sent were, "The Christmas Story" movie (one of Ben's favorites and one of my least favorites). I sent popcorn and a large bag of M&M's to go with it. I sent him a small nativity, Homemade Chex mix (my Grandma Karlynn's specialty), taffy that we pulled, hot cocoa with different add-ins and a cocomotion. The cocomotion has been a hit. Ben said all of the guys were teasing him about it, until they tried some hot chocolate made in it. Apparently, they make it up quite often and they call it the "cocoa mo"! The best gift I sent him this year was a pair of running shoes. A few years ago, I bought Ben some nike running shoes. They were a royal blue color with a rather bight yellow nike swoop. They were great running shoes and Ben had them for a couple of years. He not only ran with them, but wore them as an everyday casual shoe. He definately got his use out of them. We had looked for another pair just like them a few times, but they are now considered an old model. We couldn't find them anywhere. A few days before he left, we looked for some running shoes and he couldn't find the right pair, so he didn't get any. About a month after he left, the kids and I were in Sports Authority getting some basketball shoes for the twins. I turned around and there on the clearance isle right in front of me at eye level were a pair of running shoes-THE running shoes. I picked them up and they were his exact size. It was as though the shoes were glowing. It was crazy! The kids all yelled, "those are Dad's shoes"! I scanned the entire isle and they were the only pair! We were so excited to buy them for him. That day, I was talking to Ben and asked him if there was anything he needed for Chirstmas. He said, "I could use a new pair of running shoes"! I laughed inside! He was surprised and excited to open them on Christmas morning. We also got him a ping pong table and a vibrating football game that he had as a kid. They are both still in the box waiting for him to get home!

The kids were able to face chat a little with him on Chistmas Morning. The lines were pretty busy, so we didn't have the best connection. Hopefully, this will be the last Christmas we will spend apart!

Valentines

Valentines week was pretty crazy!!! It all started when carter come home from a scout campout and said all of his friends were asking girls to be their Valentines. He told me he thought it was lame and wasn't going to do it. I was glad... The next night, Carter went to a movie night at Brennen Normans house and apparently Valentines was the main topic of discussion there. He came home that night talking about asking someone to be his Valentine. He told me again that he was feeling pressure to ask someone but was going to resist. Well by Sunday, he had decided he would ask Baylee Mickelson to be his Valentine. I was dying inside thinking that my little boy is going up. I tired not to make a big deal about it, but it was a big deal! Some of his friends had texted girls to ask them, but he decided that he would ask Baylee to her face. On monday before school, he walked up to and asked her. She said "yes". Oh brother! So, Yesterday he took in some hand dipped chocolates and gave them to her. She gave him a gift also. I still can't believe it!

I told my friend Missy that I would watch all of her kids for her while she and Doug went out. I had 10 kids here. It was a little crazy, but went pretty smooth. Needless to say, I went to bed early!

On friday, the 10th, I went to a Walk-A-Thon with the twins at Kitty Ward elementary. They were excited to see me! We were walking/running around the loop and some 3rd grade girls would not stop bothering them. They were acting really crazy and just wanted to be by them. I was so annoyed. I asked them to go do their own thing and stay away from my boys. Max and Will were thrilled that I did that. Apparently, they have been bothering them for quite awhile. I am not liking girls right now! I did have fun with the boys. That night, I took the twins to in-and-out and to the movies. We had a great time and I think they really enjoyed the one-on-one time with me!

Ben called from Afghanistan and set up a massage and facial for me. I was pretty sick, so it relt good to be able to go and relax for a bit. While I was getting pampered, he had Mandy deliver a chair to my house from Home goods. I was talking to Ben last week and was in Home goods looking around and I walked past a cute chair. I mentioned to him that it was cute, but left it at that. He called Home goods from Afganistan and had the ladies go and find it, and email a picture of it to him. He bought it and had Mandy go pick it up. I can't believe he did that. I love him so much and am so grateful to have such a thoughtful and loving husband. I can't wait to spend next Valentines with him!

He received his package a day late, but was very excited to get it. The kids wrote him the cutest little notes. I bought him a cute frame and put a picture of me kissing his cheek in it. I also made him a book with 10 things I love about him. There were of course treats and the gift I think he liked best of all- an article of clothing sprayed with my perfume! Oh how I miss him!

What a week! There aren't enough hours in the day to get things done! I have been working on getting Ben's Valentines package together and in the mail. I have a problem with just throwing things together and sending them. I want to make sure each package is special and meaningful to him. Some highlights we have had this week here are.... My kids all wrote new years resolutions. Amongst several goals this year, they all wrote they wanted to finish the Book of Mormon before Ben got home. I thought it would be fun to have a scripture Read-A-Thon on Friday night. I bought lots of treats and we set up camp in my bedroom. Unfortunately, it didn't go as well as I expected. We decided to make homemade pizza for dinner and it took awhile! We didn't end up starting to read until about 8:30pm. After about 1 1/2 hours, two of the kids were asleep! Max was the first to go and then Carter. But, fortunately, Carter finished reading the Book of Mormon before he fell asleep. I'm so proud of him for doing this. He is very faithful in reading the scriptures every night. The rest of us finished the book of Alma. We may need to have a few more Read-A-Thons before Ben gets home! Ben tried face chatting us so he could join in, but it wouldn't connect. He was very proud of the kids for doing this. I will make sure we finish before he gets home!

Another crazy thing this week.... At the beginning of the week,( I can't remember what day it was), I woke up to find blood all over in our hamster, Bob's cage. She didn't appear to have a cut or anything, so I came to the conclusion that it came from her mouth or the other end! This is never a good sign!!! After that, she started to act mental, so on thursday night after the kids went to bed, I let her go in our front yard. Now I thought she would run far away or another animal would put her out of her misery, but unfortunately, Bob was thirsty and decided to go to the pool for a drink:( Yesterday, Max and Jaxon White saw something floating in the pool and thought it was a giant bug. They fished it out, and realized it was our crazy hampster, Bob. I think the kids felt a little sad to find Bob dead. They gave her a proper burial and are planning her funeral. Will has already told me that he wants to be a speaker!

Max is injured again! He had been complaining that his heels were hurting for about 2 weeks. i just thought he had bruised his heels from playing basketball outside with no shoes or his vans on. He was in sever pain on wednesday night, so I decided to take him in on Thursday morning. Turns out that he has an inflammation going on on the back of his ankles. It is called Seivers disease. Apparently it is from him growing so fast and from being extremely active. He has to wear heel cups in his shoes and take ibuprofen on a regular basis until it gets better. Poor kid!

I finally got Milie's 1 year old pictures taken this week. It took 2 sessions because she was such a stinker! The first day was kind of a nightmare. It was difficult for the photographer to get many good shots of her. The funniest thing though, was that Millie broke a strand of pearls during the session and must have snuck one in her mouth, because later that night, I found a pearl in her diaper. I laughed so hard and had to take a picture of it. I know its kind of disturbing, but I had to do it! Sorry Millie you will probably hate me for showing this picture!

The second day was much better. The photographer had a cake and donut for her to dig into. She loved it! One more thing crossed off my list!

Today was fast and testimony meeting. Will and Kate got up and shared their testimonies. They did a great job. Will wanted to say something about the superbowl in his testimony. He was going to say, "I know some of you might be Patriot fans, but the Giants are going to win!". I'm glad he didn't say that! I am so proud of my kids and the choices they make. They are such good kids and I know Ben is proud of them too.

I have struggled a little this week in that I am feeling a little overwhelmed with all i have to do here at the house. I kind of snapped a little on Ben. I felt bad for doing so, but I guess it was nice getting some things off my chest. He was very understanding, of course and forgave me for being sharp with him. I miss him so much my body aches. He is in my thoughts so many times during the day. He has been gone now for over 3 months and it seems like it has been forever. I feel as though part of me is missing and I don't feel complete. Tomorrow is a new day and things will get brighter. Hopefully I can get Ben's package off tomorrow!

Halloween

With Ben deploying in October, we know he would miss all of the major holidays (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Kate's 8th birthday, Valentines, Easter), our 15th Anniversary and Millie's first birthday. Pretty much everything except for the 4th of July! Ben make everything so much more fun. He is the life of the party, so I knew we would have to do some really fun things to keep everyone from missing him too badly. The first holiday was Halloween. Halloween has become one of my favorite holidays (I get it from my mom!). We decided we would spend Halloween at Grandma Cheryl's and Grandpa Rands house. A few days before Halloween, my mom and I decided to do a spook alley in her garage. We decided on an old prison setting. I bought all kinds of costumes for everyone and props from prisoner skeletons, hand cuffs, fog machine, and many more items to make it scary! My dad and I even went to my Grandpa Ted's old house and corral and gathered up old gates that looked like prison bars. Carter really got into it. He helped with the set up and kind of took charge of the whole thing. We got the whole family involved. Wade, my mom, myself and Kate were all in prison outfits. The twins were were in inmate shirts behind the bars shaking them. Carter was in a black morph suit hiding against the black plastic walls and jumping out at people. I will say that my dad was the best part of the spook alley. He wore some big coveralls with my mom's famous mask (the mask she has literally scared everyone I know with it at one time or another) and he would lunge out at people blowing them with a loud blower mom got from work. It was awesome. The night was filled with games for the kids and good food! We had a great time. Ben would have loved this!

Time to go

The Day was now here for Ben to leave. His flight left early in the morning so we all got up and drove him to the airport. As we were driving I just kept thinking that this was not really happening. Again, many tears were shed by us all, but we all knew that the sooner he left the sooner he would return home to us. We were running a little late, so we had to go to the outside check in. Will and Kate went and stood in line with him while his bags were being checked. It wasn't long after that that he returned to the car and gave us all hugs for the last time. We all cried while we watched him disappear in through the airport doors. Writing about this brings back the emotions I felt that day. It was so hard to watch him leave. I felt as though a part of me was leaving. Knowing i couldn't see him or touch him or smell him ( all things I took for granted) was hard to swallow. My whole body ached.

Several people at the airport were watching this all go down- Watching a man in uniform saying goodbye to his family. Total strangers were crying. Right as I was going pull away, and man knocked at my window. He looked as though he was a former football player or coach. He was probably around 60 years old with short gray hair. So he was a big tough man. He motioned for me to roll my window down and kind of hestitantly, I did. His eyes were full of tears. He said," you and your kids should feel so proud right now. I sure love you guys." He got too choked up to say anything more. We did feel proud that day, but sad too.

After dropping him off, we returned home and decided that it would be best for us to get ready for church and attend our meetings. They were good meetings and it hadn't really hit us what had just happened.

The day before deployment

The day before Ben left, we woke up and went to yard sales as a family. This has become one of our favorite things to do together. We hit the jackpot this day. We found a yard sale full of old an unique things. I bought 8 round picture frames- not knowing what I would do with them. All I know, is that they are hard to find especially all the same. We found some pewter pieces and also some old coke bottles we intended to use for homemade rootbeer. We got home and Ben opened up the back hatch door of our suburban and to his surprise, the frames and the coke bottles came crashing out and landed on the cement. 7 of the 8 frames broke and also 2 of the 6 bottles broke. Ben looked as though he would cry. He knew how excited I was about these finds. It broke my heart that he felt so bad. Even though i had told him and the kids several times not to open the back of the car until they checked to see if anything was by the door, I couldn't get mad at him. We went inside and Ben disappeared for awhile. I went out to the garage only to find him standing by a table covered with frames he had pieced back together. I had to hold the tears back. He cared so much that he spent some of his last ours at home trying to do something to make me happy. I will never forget that moment and the act of kindness he showed my that day. We spent the night before he left watching a movie (Zookeeper) together getting Olive Garden take out and Ben and the kids got in the hot tub. The night ended with Ben giving us all a priesthood blessing. This was a wonderful experience for our family. There were many tears shed, but a feeling of peace filled our home. After the kids were in bed, Ben and I packed his things and more tears were shed.

A feeling of peace

It was important to Ben to have a fathers blessing before he left. Two days before leaving, his dad, mom, and brothers, Scott and Nate drove down to Las Vegas to give him a blessing of peace and safety. It was an awesome experience for us all and we appreciated them doing this for Ben.

Farewell Weekend

Before he left, his family had a weekend celebration for him. We had a great time in Beaver surrounded by such a great family. We had many laughs, games and of course great food! It all started with some apple picking from the apple trees in Grandma and Grandpa's yard.

Beginning a New Journey

Well, the time has come for Ben to Deploy to Afghanistan for 6 months. This new Journey is going to be a hard, yet rewarding (that's what I keep telling myself) experience for us all. We have been through 14 years of school and training to get to this point in our lives. We have been through many hard and trying things as a family. We have moved 6 times in the past 15 years and have had 5 children whom are all miracles in our lives. But, being apart and in these circumstances will be the hardest thing we have faced yet. The anticipation of Ben leaving was rough. There was more tension as usual in our home, the kids were on edge and Carter worried that he would never see Ben again. Carter would ask repeatedly, "can you promise me 100% that dad will come back safe?" The reality is, is that I couldn't honestly answer that with the response he wanted. So for now, we just have to have faith and hope that he will come home to us safely and that we will be able to make this a good experience for all. We are so proud of Ben and know that he will be an instrument in helping the Afghan people and our own U.S soldiers heal from horrible injuries. He will be missed tremendously.